NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Evel Dick can't leave! Who is going to balance out the highly annoying powers of Rachel and Brendon? This season just got exponentially worse. My best hope is without Dick around to help with the game play Rachel will end up leaving sooner, but I'm still going to miss everything he brings to the game and the show. What is it with my favorite reality people leaving their return seasons early. First Johnny Fairplay quits his Survivor All-Star season, now Evel Dick leaves Big Brother. How do I deal with the heartbreak?
Anyway, I've decided to steal from Bill Simmons and do the eviction episodes as a running journal. Since he will never read this and I don't do it anywhere near as good, I don't think he'll mind. So without further delay, the first eviction journal...
00:22 - Where did they get that studio audience from? It looks like they went to Burbank Town Center or City Walk and just grabbed a couple hundred shoppers and tourists. Hey, want to be on a TV show? Even though you could see people clapping, it certainly felt like canned applause. It must be hard to get a ton of enthusiasm from 65 year-old women.
5:36 - Porsche says she's not worried because the veterans told her she was safe. Porsche, are you able to do basic addition? There are 4 vets that get to vote and 6 newbies. Not that they can't sway a vote or two, but the vets have no power to keep you safe. What's the world coming to when strippers... umm, I mean VIP waitress can't add?
8:35 - The vets are now sitting around talking about who they can sway to get enough votes to keep Porsche. Here's where this group of fools really misses Evel Dick. They've done nothing but screw up since he left. If it wasn't for Jeff they'd still be up in the HOH (Head of House) room crying about losing numbers. Like I've said in past seasons, Big Brother is a numbers game. If you don't have numbers you're in trouble, so all you're decisions should be geared towards keeping the highest numbers. I know they want to give Porsche the golden key, but coming out of the POV (Power Of Veto) competition they knew they had her vote. Rachel should have used the POV to take her off the block, then the vets would have had 5 sure votes, enough for a tie that Rachel could have broke. With Porsche off the block they were guaranteed to remove whoever they wanted. Now they have to scrabble around to sway two people, which might or might not happen. I'm also not sure why, in the last episode, they talked to people as teams. They need to learn a lesson from Dick and deal with people one on one, pit people against their teammate. You're sure to get much better results then talking to them as a team.
11:16 - God I hate Rachel and Brendon. Seriously, am I going to have to put up with another full season of Brendon crying and whining and Rachel preening and cackling? America, what is it you could possible enjoy about watching these two idiots? I might have to start fast forwarding through these scenes just to keep my sanity.
15:25 - Brendon tells America he doesn't want Rachel "demasculating" him in front of others. First off, Mr. Rocket Scientist, the word is emasculate. Second, dude, seriously, you don't have to worry about Rachel doing it in front of the house guests, you do an awesome job of doing it to yourself in front of millions. You do know there are cameras on you whenever you start crying, right? I really am unsure of who's a bigger girl, Rachel or Brendon.
23:00 - As much as I enjoy this show, is there any worse TV then when Julie Chen asks these questions to the whole house before evictions? I mean, what are they going to say? Well, Julie, I actually hate Rachel and would be ecstatic if she rolled over and died right here. I know what they are going to answer before they say anything. It's like watching a televised small town mayoral debate. Let's just get rid of it and get on to the voting.
26:26 - I hate these stall tactics. Do we really need to go to break now? There isn't much drama anyway. Just announce the loser and then let's take a break.
28:46 - WOW! Kalia votes for Keith to be evicted! I was not expecting that. Looks like things worked out for the vets even though they screwed up. I'm guessing this was a little CBS bait and switch. They didn't show anything hinting that she was going to vote Keith. I'm guessing they held out on me. I wonder if the vets put the full court press on her or if she had a strong dislike for Keith?
30:00 - Keith is evicted from the house. Glad to see him go. The guy was a total ass. I can't believe he would call himself a youth minister and then go on national television and act the way he did. Would you want this guy preaching and hanging around your kids?
39:30 - Jordan wins HOH. Looks like everything worked out fine for the vets. They now have numbers and power. This could end up being a very boring season, at least until we get to individual game play. Although, if anyone can mess things up its Rachel and Brendon. I am not looking forward to at least four more weeks of these two.
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