Thursday, March 24, 2011

Top 5: Killer Bunny Cards

     Today's Top 5 is really only going to be interesting or enjoyable for two or three people.  I realize I don't exactly have a huge audience to begin with and that alienating those very few people who are kind enough to spend precious moments reading my thoughts and opinions isn't the wisest thing to do, but this list was just too fun for me to pass up.  Today I will be listing the Top 5 Killer Bunnies Cards.  For those of you unfamiliar, Killer Bunnies is a card game played with a rather large deck of special cards (or to be more specific a collection of 11 decks of cards).  It's totally random, very violent, somewhat complicated, surprisingly simple, endlessly madding, and extremely addicting.  I would try to explain how it's played, but really I would just confuse you.  All I can hope is that reading this list may intrigue you enough to pick up the starter deck and begin playing yourselves.  In honor of the spirit of the game, there is no criteria for what a good card entails, merely my own whims and odd sense of humor...

5.  Happy Scrappy Hero Pup
     May be used once to immediately fetch (return) any Carrot that was taken or stolen from any player (even if such a Carrot was given away willingly). This card may also be used to chase away (eliminate) ‘Black Cat’ or ‘Zodiac Terminator.’ This card may be used at any time.
      Probably the best example of those whims and sense of humor.  Just the fact that it's a somewhat Clerks reference is enough for me to love it.  Of course, it also helps me retain my favorite card, so it has that going for it as well

4.  The Conch
     May be used once by a player to silence all opponents for two rounds of play. Only the player holding ‘The Conch’ may speak (and therefore make deals or exchanges of any kind). ‘The Conch’ effectively stops all trades of both supplies and down cards for two full rounds of play unless initiated by the player holding the
card. A player who speaks must return a Carrot, or discard a Zodiac or Mysterious Place card for each word spoken. Players without objects will forfeit turns of play.
     It sounds easy, but it's not.  Killer Bunnies is all about the table talk (at least the way we play it) and not talking for two rounds either sucks or is amazingly funny depending on which end of things you end up on.

3.  Time Worf
     May be used once to force all players to move their Top Run card to the next player clockwise and their Bottom Run card to the next player counter-clockwise. If the player decides to use ‘Time Worf’ immediately, the player must first slide the Bottom Run card into the Top Run card position and place a Bottom Run card before moving either card to the appropriate opponent. If a player has ‘Calcite Conundrum’ in play, the two sets of Run cards are treated as separate opponents.
     The best thing about this card is the picture on it, a drawing of a bunny that looks like Worf from Star Trek The Next Generation dressed in women's underwear like Dr. Frank-N-Furter from Rocky Horror Picture Show.  If you know the musical then you get where the cards directions come from, think about it... move card clockwise... a jump to the left...

2.  Shazbot
     This card may be used on any player. The player must return one Carrot to Kaballa’s Market for each curse (or naughty) word that he speaks during the game. A player may pay 10 Dolla to remove this card. A curse (or naughty) word can only be defined by the people playing the game. Each group will have to decide for itself which words are not allowed. The word Shazbot is a “safe” word, and may therefore be used freely during play as a substitute for all curse (or naughty) words. A player’s payment of 10 Dolla to remove the card must be placed in the discard pile.
     Did I mention we usually drink while playing this game?  Have you ever tried not to swear while playing a game that has you attacking other people's bunnies while intoxicated?  It's hard.  What also makes this card so fun is that we've basically all agreed to play it on only one person.  She gets really pissed.  It's too bad she doesn't read this blog because she'd probably be yelling at her computer screen right now.

1.Flo
     No description for this one.  It's just a carrot that looks like Flo from Mel's Dinner.  She also can be used as a prune danish.  It's no surprise to those who play with me that this is number one on the list.  The quickest way to make me your enemy is take to take Flo before I get the chance.  Not that she's done much for me in return.  I think she's only won for me once or twice.

Honorable Mentions: Ice Nine, Abe Froman, The Church Bunny, No Supe For You, Dude Where's My Carrot, Hitchbunny's Guide, Insurance Porpoises, Those 70's Bunnies, Journey To The Center of The Circle

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