Top 5: Celebrity Meltdowns

     In honor of my boy, Charlie "Adonis DNA" Sheen, this week's Top 5 is going to be Top 5 Celebrity Meltdowns.  I figured in longevity, number of events, severity of events, and distance of fall from grace.  I could probably go on listing the Honorable Mentions for days, so I limited it to just my favorites...

5. Brittney Spears
     Of all the meltdowns, I feel like this one was caused by the media.  That's not to say that I don't think she's crazy or that her upbringing was a little off, but I just don't think she would have cracked if she didn't have paparazzi in her face 24/7.  Her list of meltdown moments includes, a quickie "joke" marriage in Vegas, marrying Kevin Federline, a god awful reality show, driving with an infant in her lap, shaving all her hair off.  This girl went from the biggest selling music artist to nobody in spectacular fashion.

4.  Charlie Sheen
     I really wanted to put this one higher.  It's probably the highest on the enjoyment scale because all the things he's doing at the moment aren't really hurting anyone, they're just morbidly hilarious.  It's also probably the highest on the quote machine scale.  The thing that hurts it is distance of fall from grace.  Even though Sheen had quite the acting career at one point (Wall Street, Platoon) and is in (God it pains me to say this!!) the most popular comedy on TV, he just isn't the star that the rest of the people on this list are.  Ultimately, I think he will be most famous for this meltdown and that won't necessarily be true of the others.  Sheen does get points for longevity.  The meltdown could be dated back to 1990, when he shot his then fiance, Kelly Preston, or 1995 when he was implicated in the Heidi Fleiss scandal, but the shit didn't seem to really hit the fan until his most recent marriage in 2008.

3.  Mike Tyson
     Once the scariest man on the planet, Tyson's meltdown has left him as nothing more then a punchline.  Tyson had the world in his hand and was virtually unbeatable in the boxing ring when fame and the death of his mentor, Cus D'Amato, sent him into a huge tailspin.  Both the distance of fall and severity of events put Tyson in the three spot.  Tyson was called crazy on national TV by his then wife, Robin Givens, while he sat next to her with a stupid grin on his face, he was convicted of rape, he bit off Evander Holyfields's ear in front of millions, he tattooed his face, he threatened to eat Lennox Lewis' kids.  It seems like he has finally found peace, but oh what a fall it was.

2.  Mel Gibson
     I think what gets me about this one is I never saw it coming.  Mel seemed like a fine enough gentleman and an amazing film maker and then, BOOM, full fledged crazy.  He went from one of the most hailed men in Hollywood and one of the biggest movie stars in the world to absolute lunatic in what seemed like minutes.  His big time meltdown moments include proving himself to be a religious nut, proving himself an anti-semite, driving drunk and let out a string of insults including "sugar tits," and most recently verbally and physically berating his wife on tape.  It's almost more impressive that he was able to hide the crazy for so long, then it is how long he has been melting down.

1.  Michael Jackson
     The sad part about this one is that a whole generation is only going to know this guy as the freak who changed the color of his skin.  At the time of his death he seemed more alien then human.  His meltdown was more complete then anyone else on this list, lasted longer and, due to the fact that he was at one point THE most famous person in the world, by far the biggest fall from grace.  As much as it pains me to admit it (I've never been shy about blasting the man for molesting children), he was extremely talented and created the soundtrack for my generation, then slowly he morphed into a child molesting circus freak.  I'm sure the meltdown had something to do with the level of fame he reached, nobody was more famous, but also his horrible father and family life.  I think you can date it back to Pepsi commercial fire.  I think that's when the plastic surgery problems started.  His meltdown resume includes, raping boys, reforming his face, changing his color, having a monkey as a best friend, building a theme park on his front lawn, dangling a baby from a balcony, wearing a mask in public.  This is the meltdown that all meltdowns should be judged by.

Honorable Mentions: Randy Quaid (if you're not familiar with this story Goggle it!), Tom Cruise, Mariah Carey, Christian Slater and Anna Nicole Smith.