Baseball season has started and although I am less then excited about the Red Sox prospects this year, I felt I had to do a baseball themed Top 5 to celebrate. I did a Top 5 Fictional Hockey Players list that I really enjoyed writing, so I figure why not do the same thing for baseball. The weird thing I found is as huge a baseball fan as I am, I haven't seen most baseball movies. Many of them look super dumb or strongly aimed at younger audiences. I have no desire to ever see Mr. 3000 or Angels In The Outfield whether baseball is involved or not. The other problem is that most of the really good baseball movies use real players, 8 Men Out, Field Of Dreams, The Rookie, and I wanted to stick to fictional players. Luckily for all of us, I was still able to come up with a solid collection of quality fake players. Here's my top 5...
5) Ryan Dunne - Summer Catch
Most would say that Billy Brubaker was the better player, but his troubles switching from aluminium to wood bats make me leery of his major league prospects. Dunne, on the other hand, really seemed to put all the tools together and over came the demons plaguing his pitching. It was only Cape Cod league ball, but a no hitter is impressive at any level (I know he walked off the mound before finishing the game but I'm giving it to him for love's sake). Really I just wanted to fit this movie in the list somewhere because it's so damn silly. The unintentional comedy meter is off the charts.
4) Sam Malone - Cheers
Sam may have been a better drunk than a pitcher, but you also have to remember the era he pitched in. He was a reliever at a time when relief pitchers just weren't valued. Some might argue this makes him a bad pitcher, if he was any good he would have been a starter, but I like to think if old "Mayday" Malone pitched today he would be one of the league leaders in saves. We never get to see Sam pitch, just hear the stories, so this might not be a fair assessment, but I'm sticking to it. Lets not forget he pitched for the Sox and that means something.
3) Willie May Hayes - Major League
This list could have easily been Top 5 Baseball Players From The Major League Movies, but I tried to limit myself to just one player from each movie. My favorite player had to be The Duke, I mean, how could you not like a guy who threw at his own kid in the father/son game, but Hayes was clearly the most talented player. He hit like Mays and ran like Hayes, a set of skills we only see in elite players. There's no doubt with his base stealing and run producing potential that Hayes would be a perennial first round pick in any fantasy league. He might lack the power to make him an Andrew McCutchen type, but Kenny Loften in his prime is pretty damn good.
2) David Palmer - The Slugger's Wife
I'm not sure anyone remembers this movie or it's main character, Atlanta Braves slugger David Palmer, but it was an infinite repeat HBO movie when I was growing up. Palmer may not have been the well rounded player that Willie Mays Hayes was, but he was one of the best power hitters fake baseball has ever seen. Palmer was able to break the single season homerun record set by Roger Maris and he did it when the initials PED had no meaning. His secret wasn't a needle, it was his good luck charm, Rebecca De Mornay. As the only man to hit 62 homeruns without the use of steroids, Palmer had to be on this list.
1) Roy Hobbs - The Natural
The best fictional ball player from the best baseball movie. All you Bull Durham fans can screw off, nothing is better than The Natural. And what makes The Natural such a good movie is the superhero like legend of Hobbs. The man literally hit the cover off a baseball! He set off a chain reaction of exploding lights he hit the ball so far and hard. And he did it all with a bullet in his side. Lets not forget that without said bullet getting planted he was on his way to becoming one of the best pitchers the game has ever seen. Hobbs is by far the most talented player on this list and figure in his penchant for clutch hits and you have the greatest fictional player ever.
Honorable Mentions: Nuke LaLoosh-Bull Durham; Kelly Leak-The Bad News Bears; Kenny Powers-Eastbound And Down; Pedro Cerrano-Major League; Tanner Boyle-The Bad News Bears
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