I didn't mean for this to be a sports blog. I just wanted it to be an opportunity to say what was on my mind, react to the world around me, comment on the things I read and watch and listen too, but sports seems to be dominating the news at the moment (that is, other than the insanity that surrounds our president) so a sports blog it is.
Let me preface this post by saying what happened yesterday was a tragedy and I feel horrible for the families that are left behind. Also, I in no way condone people who are saying on social media that Kobe got what he deserved. There are very few crimes where death is a fitting punishment and for any of us to wish what happened on another human being is disgusting.
But at the same time, I can't condone those who are calling him a hero or saying how proud they are of how he lived his life. Kobe Bryant raped a woman, viciously victim shamed her into not testifying at the trial (okay, he didn't personally do this but the media and his legal team did it in his name), and paid her to go away. These are pretty indisputable facts, especially in light of what we now know today about male abuse of fame and power, that the rest of the world seems to have forgotten. I'm not writing this to argue what happened, I'm more interested in discussing how, after all we have gone through the last few years, how "woke" we have supposedly become, we are still so willing to dismiss and forget vial indiscretions just because we like someone's public persona.
What would the reaction be if I decided to write a post about how great a father Matt Lauer is? Or Luis CK (wait... those exist!)? How about if I wrote about Garrison Keillor's contributions to promoting female writers? Did you know that Harvey Weinstein is responsible for the careers of many highly successful actresses? My guess is that people would be upset because all of these men were accused of treating women in awful ways. So, why are most people so quick to apologize for Kobe? Why is everything I read about what a great father he was and how supportive he was of women's basketball without mention of the fact that he raped someone?
To be fair, there are journalists questioning Kobe's legacy. Charles Pierce wrote this in Esquire. And Will Leitch wrote a scathing two sentences in New York Magazine and then moves on to other positive stuff. But, on the other hand, this happened!
I don't understand why it is okay to talk about him scoring 81 points in a game but not alright to talk about him being accused of sexual assault. I believe in a person's ability to repent and I would like to think that after having three daughters Kobe realized the atrociousness of his actions. I would like to think that his support of women's basketball was partially an amends for how he treated women in the past. But I also find it hard to comment on his fatherhood and support of women without mentioning that he raped a woman. It is all connected and should certainly affect our reactions to those comments.
In many ways, we are still trying to figure out as a society how we are going to treat celebrities that act in horrible ways. To what extent can we or should we separate a person from their art or accomplishments. Bill Cosby had an impact on stand-up comedy and pop culture that is almost impossible for people of my generation to forget. Michael Jackson probably had a bigger impact on music and live performance. But at the same time, I can't help but feel a little dirty when my immediate reaction to a friend tweeting about putting M&M's in his kid's pancakes is "Dad is great! Gave us the chocolate cake!" Or, wanting to sing out loud when "Rock With You" comes on the radio. Kobe was an amazing basketball player and inspired many to play the game themselves, just like Bill Cosby inspired many to be comedians and Michael Jackson inspired people to sing and dance. Matt Lauer made people want to go into broadcasting and Garrison Keillor made people want to write and tell stories. I'll even bet that Harvey Weinstein inspired people to get into the movie business. But nobody is calling them heroes right now.
Kobe Bryant did something that has cost many men their careers. Just because he died in a tragic way does not mean those actions should be removed from discussions of his legacy. Jen Chaney tweeted that "For right now, it's okay to just be sad. Because this undeniably sad" but it is also okay to not be sad. It is okay to think this man was not a hero or someone to look up too. It is okay to not be proud of his actions or accomplishments. It is okay to think that Kobe Bryant lived life in opposition to how a large portion of us feel one should live their life. And it isn't wrong or improper to express that.
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